Harmony's Birth Story

Those who are friends with me on twitter/facebook have gotten a glimpse or small updates on my delivery story, but there was truly so much to it.

Some of it terrifying, but most of it beautiful. Of course, the beauty was all a result of welcoming the most gorgeous baby girl into the world.

I wasn't due to deliver until July 18th.
June 24th I went to the bathroom and noticed blood. I called the doctor because I thought maybe my mucous plug had come out, but they told me to go to triage anyway. It turned out I was a little dilated, but the problem was actually with my blood pressure.
My blood pressure had been beyond perfect up until this point. The nurses and ob always had great things to say about my prenatal health. To see my blood pressure spike so much in less than a week was pretty scary in itself.

I was told to go home and follow up the next Tuesday with my ob for my regular prenatal appointment.
That Tuesday we heard the bad news that if my protein levels were to come back high it would mean that I had pre eclampsia and I would probably need to be induced. This news was scary and so disappointing. Being induced was not at all what I wanted, and I already knew the dangers of pre eclampsia.
I went home and laid in bed all night and day like I was supposed to.
Wednesday (37 weeks pregnant), after a ton of running around, we got the sudden and shocking news that they wanted to induce me that night. My protein levels were 4-5 times more than what they should be.

I'm not going to lie, I was so scared. I tried to play it off and be as calm as possible, but all I could think about was, "what if I don't get to meet my baby girl? What if she dies with me?" I have anxiety problems as it is, and it was all I could do to not have a full blown panic attack. I knew I had to control myself for the sake of both of us though.

They started out by trying to soften and thin my cervix out, and it helped that Harmony was already so low in my pelvis. I was given ambien to sleep and some morphine for the contractions I was having so that I could sleep.
I don't really remember Thursday morning very well. All I can really remember is getting the epidural  once they started the pitocin. I knew I would probably need it, and at that point I knew that not having any pain would keep my blood pressure in check a little better than trying to tough it out. I was ordered to lay on my side pretty much the entire labor.

The rest of the day was pretty slow going. I then started having these sudden sharp and intense pains in my back that made my entire body ache and shudder. My epidural had worn off! Jeremy was out at the moment talking to his mom, and my mom stuck by my side and tried to calm me down as I cried into my pillow until someone came in to refill my epidural pump. That was when my blood pressure hit an all time high. I think I scared my mom a little at that point. When they came back in to check on me it turned out I was 9 cm dilated.
I knew it wouldn't be long until it would time to push her out.
Not too much longer later, I started to feel intense pressure in my pelvis. My epidural was still so new that feeling the pressure was not that difficult. I knew at that point it was time to push.
We told the nurse and of course after what felt like forever (have you ever tried to hold a baby in?? ugh!) she came in and said I was still only 9.5 cm. I was so frustrated. I knew my body. I knew she was ready. She finally came back in and said they would try trial push to see if the cervix would move. It did like I suspected and I was all ready to start pushing.
Jeremy didn't listen to me and still peeked when I was pushing. I was so determined to get her out as quickly as I could. about 30 mins later I had pushed enough to where the Doctor was then in there to help get her out the rest of the way. After just a few more pushes I felt the biggest release of pressure ever. It was almost nauseating.  I opened my eyes and saw my little girl and instantly broke down. It was so surreal. I knew that no matter what happened after that moment seeing her face was completely worth every moment. I hadn't even realized that they said that Harmony's umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck and she had to severe it as she came out. I was completely oblivious to everything else but her.
She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on.
As they cleaned her up and checked on her Jeremy stayed with me to calm me down a bit. I haven't said much about him until this point, but he really was an amazing support. He cheered me on while I was pushing and then stayed with me while the nurses took care of Harmony. Jeremy won't admit he cried...but he cried. We were both pretty scared up until that point.
They took Harmony to the nursery and at one point I was alone in my room for a few.
I remember completely breaking down. I couldn't believe it was over for one, and I was so happy to still be there and alive.
I'm not that great at showing my emotions. I give people the gist of how I'm feeling, but until now I haven't really expressed how scared I was.

After what seemed like forever I was finally in post partam and my baby was brought to me. I was so tired after such a long labor that Jeremy was nice enough to get up with her while I rested a bit.



My mom didn't tell me until yesterday that the lady across the street died 3 months ago in childbirth from pre eclampsia. I then understood why she seemed so frantic and scared. She tried to act calm, but I could see the fear in her eyes. I know her too well. It hit me again how lucky I was to have mine caught so early and quickly.
I held Harmony a little closer to me this afternoon than usual. We've had a rough week establishing a breastfeeding relationship because of her jaundice and tongue tie. We're finally doing better at it though and after Tuesday everything will be fixed.

I love her soft baby skin. I love the wrinkles in her arms. I love how sweet her breath is after she eats. I love when she puts her hand on my chest as she nurses. I love the little coos she makes when she eats. I love when she looks at me like she just knows my every though. She is such a fighter. I can't believe that something so beautiful can even exist. Harmony is absolutely perfect. I could not be any more happy. I love her and Jeremy more than they'll ever know. They're my life. They're my motivation.
I'm so happy to be sitting here typing this.
If you've read all of this...I hope you think a little about the true value of life. I have my Harmony. I have everything I need.